THE OTHER WOMAN: "Mistresses, Jumpoffs, Whores & Bustdowns" I've been posting a bit more relationship garbage lately...because it seems like errywhere I turn...ppl are like Girl listen 2 what happen ...so I do..haha. I was reading some he gave me herpes junk material in the Onion last night and my best friend (white girl Tammie) sends me this .....a reply received from 1 of my post on a site I write 4, let's call it .. "The Guilt Line". I usually don’t post anything in the comments section but I have to speak for the women who are happy being the other woman, the jump off, the sideline, if you will. One of my best friends asked me why I continue to sleep with this guy knowing he has a girlfriend and this is what I told her…. I’m a 23 year old chick who has her sh*t together . Might sound vain but really its true. Going to school about to graduate in June of 09, got my own spot, my own car and a damn good job. Unfortunately, I was once sidetracked by love and it almost ruined my life. I almost lost everything I had and was working for. The man I loved didn’t give a f*ck about me. I was just as dumb as Kim Porter is when it comes to Diddy. Swearing up and down my boyfriend was my real life Mr.. Big. Lol at myself!! “I’m his main chick so f*ck the other b*tches!” I’m the one he bought a ring for and took on a trip to Hawaii but I was also the one who got dogged out the most outta all the rest of the h*es. All you so-called wifey’s, girlfriends, and main’s might not wanna admit this but you’re getting done wrong and you’re not even happy. Which is why I’m now the other woman, his mistress, the jump-off, if you will. Call it what you want but I’m happy with an occasional f*ck, dinner, a couple shoes and no emotions involved. Bran….well, lets just call him Josh, is a win-win situation. I don’t have to worry about why he didn’t call me back last night. With Josh I don’t argue or fight. He’s not my man, he’s just my f*ck buddy so that aint my job to worry about where he been all night. I get the benefits of having a boyfriend (with the great sex, great convo’s and dinner) and the benefits of not having a boyfriend (no drama, no embarrassment, no shared accounts) . Which is why I don’t believe that men are the only ones who can benefit from this type of “relationship”. This might sound harsh but hell no I don’t feel guilty for having sex with Josh! I don’t want to take him from her, I just borrow him from time to time. Believe it or not I feel sorry for Josh’s girlfriend and I sometimes wonder if she knows he’s cheating; Though I doubt if she found out I would care. In society, people make us believe that women can’t do what men do. Yes we can(Vote Obama 08′) and we do it better! And your absolutely right, there are no male “hoes”, “mistresses”, or “jump-off’s” but I be damned if I’m labeled as one just because I wanna get my swerve on! I don’t feel the least bit guilty for nothing I do. And even though Kelis is one weird ass chick she said, “I’m the author of the only dictionary that defines me.” And that’s real talk. (is it?) I’ll take my “chicken pass” right now because my first reaction was “Girl I feel you!”. And no I don’t condone being a “jump, mistress, other woman, etc” however, the commenter made some very valid points on why most women choose to play “The Other Woman” role. To be honest, the first guy I’ve ever dated (and loved) was TAKEN! (I was 17 so bare with me) I didn’t give a damn about those occasional weekends he spent with his girlfriend because when he was with me, he made me feel as though I was his main chick. When I was fresh out of college, my mentality was “why would i want to be “the woman” when she’s being lied to and cheated on while “the other woman” is being told the truth and has a good idea where her “borrowed man” is when he’s not with her. (although I doubt she cares). The Other woman reaps the benefits and rewards and then sends the man home to his woman who has to deal with all the upkeep of a relationship (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids & mad drama). Don’t get it twisted, this was my thought process years ago. I haven’t borrowed a man in ages (that was over 10 years ago) and I know better now. I be damned if I come home to my hooptie sitting on cement blocks just because I’ve screwed someone’s man…And when there is a family involved (marriage, kids, etc) I definitely wouldn’t touch it. Ironically, most women that are being cheated on in their relationship has played “The Other Woman” at some point in their life. Karma is a b*tch… but what do you think...Ladies: "do we all feel this way sometimes or is the sideline not 4 real players"? (Disclaimer: by no means do I condone, tripping on or @ a mans, home, job, or, car.. .just leave him...(((period)))---- )

"Ladies STOP playing Wife.... ..If He's NOT Playing Husband!!"

Some of my favorite blogs are those that aren’t celebrity gossip/entertainment oriented. Lastnight, I ran across a talk show that just pissed me off !! I think I'm gonna write a book called: "How 2 Mack a Mack"..or "How 2 Pimp a Hoe...Just Like, the Hoe He Tell's His Boys He Is" LMAO (i'll come back 2 this l8er) "“Ladies, Stop Playing Wife If Your Man’s Not Playing Husband” and I just had to share thoughts To all the desperate women out there: Stop it. You’re making it hard for the rest of us.(underlining "ME!") I’m tired of encountering men who seem to believe all they have to do is look good, have a degree,and smile to have my panties fall off. Then there are the Women who settle 4 being the bustdown, jumpoff or other woman..the yes woman, who believes a piece of a man is better than rolling solo.. and they claim that man as their own and have no time 4 the good man that delivers the mail erryday. NOT!! I’m tired of the men who’s first question seems to be: Can you to cook? To which I reply: Yes. I can. But I won’t be doing it for you. I’m tired of the men who call at all times of night, asking to come over and “chill” as I let them know that it’s too late to be at my crib and what ever “chilling” they want to do can be done between the hours of 9 and 10....(wish a n**ga would) Or how about the men who don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of but seem to think it’s their right in life to have a “dime.” (<—–HELLO!!!) And that my extra fly ass should be grateful that they even said hello to me and can’t possibly understand why I’m not leaping up and down at the prospect of being with them. And please, don’t get me started on all of the men who tell me that I want them as much as they want me. Right. So all those texts and phone calls I didn’t return didn’t send the message that I wasn’t interested , huh? The reason why so many men today think that they have to do so little to attract quality chicks, is because they don’t. Too many women out here will do whatever it takes to find, get and keep a man, turning the whole natural order of the dating world on its head. Women are doing the chasing and men are doing the choosing. And apparently I’m the only one who seems to think something is wrong with that. I’m old school. I may only be 28 (almost), but I was raised to believe that it’s a man’s job to court me. He does the chasing. I do the choosing. Simple. And effective. But now, because of the very real demographic differences among a certain section of the Black community, women are doing whatever it takes to get a man. And I do mean whatever. If that means cooking, cleaning, sexing, cow towing, begging, pleading, giving money to, letting live with, catching a case for (no lie) or just being a 21st century rendition of a Geisha with none of the perks who completely takes Destiny’s Child “Cater to You” to heart with little to no reciprocation, then so be it. If that’s what it takes to get and keep a man, then that is what too many women are willing do. I’m sorry, but I just can’t get down like that. As I have had to tell one too many men: I am not your wife. And even if I was, I wouldn’t be bending over backward to cater to you. If you want 150% from me, then you better be giving me 150% in return. But don’t expect to operate on 10% and expect me to give you 150. If you’re operating on 10%, I’m operating on 20 and that’s just because I’m nice–sometimes. To put simply: I give as good as I get. You wanna wife, you need to spiritually add something 2 me, mentally molest, romance, then, put a ring on my finger...I don't even do diamonds..due 2 conflictive issues...so now what!? I don’t play wife, unless you’re playing husband. A sentiment I wish more young women would take to heart as of RAT NOW!!